Crazy Me.. on Wednesday, January 17, 2007
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This days i felt veri stressful even though i might look so crazy and happy. it seems that my headaches cant leave me even when im in bed. in my heart, i sense that there nothing left for me in this world even when i was christian at those moments.
I still can find the belong anywhere, i might look so happy or chidlish tat i was been ignored at times. i dun mind coz i dun like much attendation anyway. Oh but one thing for sure, im happier than last time ^^, dunno for wat reason, i decided to see myself in the future doing something good. i wish i could get into food science and do good for ppl. soon, i'll be admitted into mental hospital, i cant stand those headaches-illness against me.. maybe i might like be like rap, veri bad headache, condition worse, oh the best part of it is to get into woodbridge.
now i look back at myself, wat things haf i done? i see nth, not even a single dot. nvm ^^, maybe someone thinks tat i did something to his/her life but i din feel so onli bah! life is so fragile, dun u all think so? it's easily broken, cracked.
i look back into my childhood, i see darkness in it onli, i din wish to grow up, i wan to haf my childhood back. but maybe ppl might think tat i veri childish, why cant i grow up, stop being childish, at my age i should be mature! oh come on! get a life!! age doesnt define maturity, oh anyway, i enjoy being childish, it seems like i can don need to think too much problems.
i love being happy but in my life, happy this word dun seems to appear into the book of life for mine. scold watever u wan, but this is me. i wont change anything or stop anything juz by ur scolding. dun waste all ur birdnest on me.
i wonder who can help me during all this stressful peroid, i looked back, it seems that whoever i called my best buddy/friends/sister arent much help to me. is back to myself, me and i. so alone but dun mind la, i dam used to it. im used to be ALONE, dump/PS by friends! so wat? friends sometimes arent the one for you when u are in the deepest shit!
