Seeking god bah.. on Sunday, July 29, 2007
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looking at myself now, ha.. i feel so sad, he doesnt trust me like he do at the start anymore, i feel like crying but not in front of him anymore. Maybe i really dun understand his thoughts bah. i dun wan to always start a fight or a doubt between us or even cold war, i hate those things frankly speaking. I feel bliss, blessed but y does he always think tat i dun feel any bliss or been blessed? i do.. i really do.
Reading at layhwa's blog, i look at myself again. i thought: i can tell her all those stuffs but im not really doing it, but at least i remember those words. i sometimes here and there do seek god when im in trouble, god is faithful, he do answer but i can stop wondering why do ppl still doubt at him? God is good and faithful to u, why cant u be faith and good to him? Dun get to distracted by surrounding, Satan is everywhere i could say. clear ur own mind listen to god, is tat too hard? i dun think so personally. But the decision still laid on the person hand, we cant force, cant take gun and point at the head to declare tat if u dun do blah blah blah, i bang u on ur head. that's so lame!!
nth beta to do now, read online story. those characters are so touching, i wonder those hard times in the plot, will it happen to me? at least it's happy ending. i wish that in my relationship, we'll stop doubt, questioning each other. cant we trust each other and be so blessed + Blissed like last time? i'm veri tired over quarrels, doubting.. i juz wan trust between us, i really do feel happy, and xin fu when we are together. stop thinking wildly, i scare of those wild thoughts...
